An exit

 

The conveyor belt of pain

carrying the weighty stones of despair,

The bond of happiness dry and dead,

Soul aching with sorrow, anger, even guilt,

Body’s cells colonized by fear,

Going alone and forlorn,

Feeling resentment against a world

where everyone seemed to have worked out

how to be successful and happy,

Everyone except himself.

 

Slowly receding from all possibilities of life,

Silently stepping into the pool of non-existence,

Taking a revenge against life

by retreating from its false promise,--

the lollipop of hope,

Presuming life had been repulsing him

by burning and charring his aspirations

not only of fame and grandeur, but even

the little things that come naturally to everyone

whether they seek these or not.

 

His eyes like tall arched windows,

Face like a weather-beaten, mossy stone façade,

Body like an ancient battered brick structure,

A shattered star being sucked by a black hole,

Utterly frightened of life,

while all along he imagined

himself to be scared of death,

Haunted by the feeling of being incomplete,

Full of regrets for not being able to

welcome life as one should,

And that in a way

was an invitation to death.

 

Regrets constantly chiming in his chest,

The chances he squandered brimming his mind,

clouding him,

turning him blind to

the options and choices that had been beckoning,

trying to draw his attention.

 

Now, to forget the fear of life,

he decides to die.

A suicide.

A shameful exit.