33. Ode to the Winter




The winter pouts its fishy full,

Shiver as we beneath clothy wool,

It jerks its foggy locks,

Fed up with chilly love, ye agrestic folks.



The mornings, with Silver-Goddess

Spraying silver amidst the greens,

Feathering-furs get drenched,

Veer as birds across tiniest droplets.



And the trees seem so stoic ;

Immortal shades from His brush,

Whom misty-mortality fail to crush,

Vow, as if inspiring spirit from the gothic !



Look how the rural damsel goes!

As if dew diamonds a perfect rose,

Her salad gyration at misty dawn,

Anklets jingle to her music own.



Birds fly in the foggily-low-sky,

Earlier they took autumnly sigh,

For, too high seemed the teasing blue,

Now the flight without any rue.



The noon with a milky smile,

Like a bride after first night

Comes out dreamy and royal,

Others, while, enjoy her facial delight.



Aha the light breeze!

Stoles dewed-diamonds from leaves,

The airy-fairy, it doth tease,

Frees as it the beauty from a seize.



How wonderfully day weds its night!

The crimson setting behind the mist,

Intoxicated gets the light,

Worries not lostness, as the couple kisst.



Night fog veils the stars, –

Millions shy beauties

Cajole the dark-misty-lover below,

Whose stoic-chill gives a look of neglect harsh.



And how lonely the night feels,

As everything takes a shelter,

Orphanely it tries to enter

A homely warmth in some corner.



How sleep robusts under quilt!

The sleep fed by bodily warmth;

Humanity energising itself,

As myriad dreams get built.



But, also the merciless cold

For the calf and the old,

Both cold-preyed and hold

Their souls inside life’s fold.

31. To the Solitude




The jungle and its solitude,

As if a destitute;

Alone and forlorn,

Still-silent, but happy to be born!



Silence rustle through twigs,

While, wilderness wispily digs

The deepest grave for its opposite,

And peace doth invest in windfallen deposit.



Away, away it seems,

Far away! Thus dreams

Here smile like a reality,

Same dreams, which suffocate in a city.



Like a mystic gone serene,

Environment here had been

Meditating from the yore,

While, rain poured with heavenly lore.



Like a lass too shy,

It doth try

To preserve its chaste privacy,–

Shrink away from any gaze lacy.



Wonder if everything here goes

On awake or enjoy perpetual sleepy dose!?

Perhaps, both enjoy synchronism,

Aha! The heaven without any antagonism.



Love oozes here without paired chemistry;

The love purest in history,

As everything here is a born lover,

And will remain such forever.

15. Deep, Deep! Water Exists Somewhere




He went on digging a well,

With his spirit valorous,

Deep, deep! For success smell,

His battle-song like divine chorus

Waxed the belief to most solid-state,

Only to such heroes, God’s emblem relate.



The water at unfathomable depth,

Still, hardest effort’s divine force,

Kept him going and he never dejectedly slept,

Far, far! soft-light’s mild source

Kept up this cloud-light’s thunderous spark,

Vow, puritan at war with the dark!



Fighting he was from God’s side,

Against devil trying belief’s downfall,

On his brave back Godhood ride,

Like an awful radiant ball,

To reach the goal, piercing earth,

And play with deepest water in mirth.



Volcanically he went,

Cleansing earth almost spiritually,

Digging, digging with back bent,

To reach water, somewhere gushing fully,

O thou free roaming soul,

For how long could escape thy goal?





16. The Music in Solitude



He just went on a long journey,

Which the soul lighted upon,

While, matter’s stern pride

Trying to stave off the fighter.



With his great heart glowing;

The living fountain of light,

Went on fighting the darkness,–

Heavenly luminary kindled this lamp!



Sacred mystry giving him safe passage,

From that bottom of appearance;

The sorrow-stricken bearance,

Aha, nobler destiny awaits somewhere!



The musical journey!

Music of word, heart and nature,

For that fountain of splendour,

Gushing heavenly at infinity’s fringe.



Traveller himself amuser and the amusee,

Such is the inward symmetry,

His rhythmic footsteps with a song,

While, divinity sways to his tune.





17. Processing of Greatness



A fluety-wail from the well of woe,

With angels playing harp softly above,

Dumb music from this most tragic tragedy,

Go on, Go on! Crown of mercy too greedy.



The tragic-saddened heart,

Where the lamp of longest pain burnt,

Its light reaching transcendental eye,

And the oil of fallacy saying smoky bye.



Aah the ways of destiny!

Who can understand its allegory?

Why doth purest affection of human soul,

Gets crushed for purest emblem of whole?



Too far is heaven’s corbel!

There sanctified souls dwell,

They sing, go to tragedy’s depth,

For, without pain’s awake, no one ever slept



Perhaps, too vivid is pleasure after a long pain;

Golden glow of morning after night’s rain,

The pure star in clearest sky,

After worst elements, now shining high.

Everybody believed I had all that requires to be a civil servant, so driven by this belief, I just gave peak years of my life preparing for civil services. Got interviewed once, but the real dilemma started when I came to the bitter truth of having spent all my four chances. Then PCS was left to keep the flame of the undying passion still alive. I belong to Haryana. As all of us well understand, our choice of PCS is just limited to the home state, because the way SPSCs function it is the least of secret. Well, in India most of the corruption breeds from the safe corridors of constitutionality. State public service commissions function as personal fiefs of the ruling party. It was Chautala government when I put up my well polished claim for the state civil services. Easily I crossed the hurdles to reach the interview stage with very high marks. But the all-sweeping powers of the interview panel saw me being rejected with just 28 marks out of 75. There were cases where candidates got as high as 70 marks. Anyway, I learnt a few political lessons, so during the next recruitment, I knew exactly well how to go through the interview stage. But believe me it did not involve any money going out of my already famished pockets. So, all cheers. I went comfortably home with an SDM rank (HCS, 2004, Roll. No. 1093) and the future all bright. Everybody knew that nobody deserved to have his say in any type of favor done to me, because I thoroughly deserved the post.


But Chautala proposed, Sonia disposed. Before we could join, she had the CEC Krishnamurty dashing down to Chandigarh, announcing state assembly elections, putting all appointments on hold under election code of conduct. And during this time the type of wanton drama played by the Governor, state principle secretary and everybody else, it does not even deserve to be narrated by the civilized being like me. Congress came to power. Only after entering the precincts of Punjab and Haryana high court I realized what a powerful entity state is. It is a big behemoth. The way proceedings were monopolized in the court made me so helpless and victimized by the same state which is constitutionally obliged to protect my rights. But here I was paddling like a skinny dog, trying with my meager financial resources to beat the mighty current of state. Is judiciary fair? I always had doubts. But with each day, the realization dawned how fascistically this system of justice acts. Who appoints the judges in the first place? Directly indirectly the politicians hold the string of the puppets dancing on the political stage. Each day for a talented unemployed is torturous. Here after spending thousands all we got was a few minutes stay in the house of justice. For two years the Lord of justice did not even open its ears to our ever increasing clamor for justice. And then the verdict came, it had all the loopholes to make us sit out of employment for as long a possible. We went to Supreme Court, but I don’t have any hesitation in saying that like state high courts are playing puppets to the state governments, the citadel in Delhi is always under the influence of central government. After all who appoints and promotes the judges at all levels. It’s just a well oiled machinery of mutual benefits, that’s all…nothing else.

Chautala had been wrong in installing his stooges in the HPSC before being voted out of power, because many board members were made to resign just in the middle of their term. So when Hooda came to power he found a board full of members with terms for the next 6 years. One unconstitutionality gave rise to another. The new iron lady of India easily got the hand-made President to issue a notification suspending all the HPSC members. Meanwhile, while all these stronger wheels clanked on the high road of power, ego and what not, our heads rolled.

Congress said Chautala had manipulated the selection process. Ask them what they have been doing all these five years. For one wrong of Mr. Chautala they have ended up doing tens. In both supreme and high courts, government of Haryana had given the plea that it has not any vacancy to fit us in. But see what they do. In January of this year, they put up this notification for fresh recruitment. Isn’t it the contravention of their own pledge to the court that they do not have any vacancies. We went to get a stay on the fresh recruitment. But the great legal luminary—having the infinitely open-ended space to write anything suitable for whatever ends he might deem fit—just smartly said no, the government can do as it likes.

Now, having robbed of a decade of my penance for a cause, I do slog out in the private sector. Believe me, my pain is double, because as an educated and law-abided citizen of this country, I always had this notion—born of my bookish knowledge—that state is there to protect my interests and courts are there to save my skin from the larger forces. I but stand robbed of my fundamental belief. Its not just a matter of losing a job, it is the matter of losing your identity as an empowered citizen of an independent country. Now when I slog out in most crowded buses, where getting a foothold is as precious as getting bonus from the government, I certainly don’t feel like an Indian. I feel like an emigrant in my own land. I REFUSE my office colleagues when they try to put the tricolored toy on my desk. Sorry, but this is my tiny revenge against my own state. Somehow, when terrorists strike against state in any part of India, against all my wishes, I find myself giving them a silent salute.

Sorry, but its as natural as this. Just wanted to say something on this. Thanks if you have borne the trouble of bearing with my brow-beating thus far! All in all its just sham democracy in India. We are just puppets dancing on the make-believe stage while the real game is behind the scene.

18. Surrender




God! Here and now I surrender before thee,

Let fate onwards be

At war with the prime deity,

Let it draw all arrows from its kitty.



Surrender to the nectarine form,

God! Brave now thee, thy own norm,

For I have lost the battle,

And leave war for you to settle.



I bow before thy supreme grace,

As defeat proudly brace

The low held head,

While, all will-power gone dead.



Too loudly victorious conchs blare,

And the defeated, wounded can’t dare

To touch the weapons in dust lying,

For, winner’s fatalmost arrow still eyeing.



So many efforts butchered this macabre,

Aah! The annihilator with its tabor,

Its ghastly, nasty dance,

Gives me not the singlest chance.



God! Now I lie at thy feet,

And see how thou beat

Someone who fought so valiantly,

Fell then down silently.

22. The Oldman and the Night




The Oldman and the Night,

Both of them lie awake.

His life fading out of sight,

Cough, meanwhile, doth a serious-shake.



Lost out dark world around,

Times ago he was born,

The soul when got aground,

Old, old ! Now it is other world-lorn.



Night is his companion now,

The day too hectic and bright,

So many of them swiftly passed, how?

Now the night comes, fades as sight.



The night tries to bring sleep,

O mother, child sleepless for too long,

Time may come for a slumber deep,

And motherly it whispers a song.



Too much hurried was the day,

While the night hast much patience,

The day only for the hair’s grey,

The night doth die it black in silence.



The oldman and his old mother,

Thus, stand by each other,

Stepmother will come with sun-rise,

How will then cope the sun wise?

9. Alas, The Orchid Too Far!




Rising rays fell upon a dream,

Shining future got flowerly glown,

And expectations windily blown,

Nobody, meanwhile, listened destiny’s scream.



How painfully he nourished that dream!

The sweaty toil to nurture

And water the bud for flowery future,

How rugged the chosen path seem !



The path to that

Lush green orchard,

For whom he went diehard,

While, the fate chuckling for a bet.



Went flowerly on the path,

Following the flower of life,

Alas, the ‘predetermined’ preparing its knife,

To cut the bud for its bloody bath.



Reached he when there,

With his feet all bloodied,

The bud lay already buried,

And the orchid gone for cemetry’s bare.



God, why sincerest efforts fail?

Perhaps, victory too loses

To huge efforts, which give it repeated bruises,

The unsung heroes, whom it doth hail.