The immensity of the free skies,
its vastness,
its endless vistas of freedom
get us scared,
We soak in the freedom initially,
Then we fear we’ll be lost,
We feel lonely in the free vastness,
The adventure dies,
Pursued by our own fears,
we rush into a cage,
Its known confines
guarding us against the unknown,
We drop the anchor,
We get chained
to a smile, a kiss, an embrace,--
a sweet entanglement;
a pleasant bondage called ‘love’.
You meant it to be the past,
It’s not supposed to
collide with my present,
The crunching tyres
of the big armored vehicle
(raising sands of guilt, anger and embarrassment)
shouldn't ram into my present’s lurching cart,
But they do,
Seems like you remotely
operate this rampager
to take further revenge
and turn the past into
a grotesque wreckage.
The heavy, rusted padlock,
Its key missing,
Hanging on an old massive door
of a dark chamber,
Hiding an ever-shut, secretive vault,
Spooky.
Once it was a golden kiss-lock,
Would snap open with spring,
Would snap down
and close upon the previous season.
And before that
it was all open,
No lock,
Just an open secret of love.
Love holds you in grasp;
in tight fist,
Entwining your destinies
for a paired chemistry,
That intimacy, familiarity, closeness,
The shared identity;
the overlapping zone,
Two molten selves
lovingly creeping into each other,
Sweet superimposition,
Tingling eclipsing of one by the other,--
alternating eclipses,
Her covering her
and she him.
But very rarely we are
two bodies moving in the same direction,
Like celestial bodies,
we cross paths from different directions,
Eclipse and pass across each other,
Then we drift away,
The shared zone keeps decreasing,
Moving away like strangers,
As if there was no acquaintance,--
a build-up of eternal estrangement.
The sweeping love-spools,
almost to the extent of being crazy,
A rush of positive chemicals they say,
But what a powerful natural intoxication!
The days get colored in new light,
You feel more alive than you remember,
A convalescence from past pains,
A reimbursement for the losses,
An empowerment against all maladies,
You feel lucky
to sleep-walk in the love-lane,
It helps you dreamily float
above and beyond
the concrete puzzles of life.
Why couldn’t I love you enough
to keep the joy that you once felt
on my touch?
Why couldn’t I keep
that shine in your eyes,
which sparkled at my sight?
Why couldn’t I keep
your dream in being love going
as you walked, talked in daylight?
Why couldn’t I keep nourishing
that smile on your lips in my company?
The failure to do so
is maybe a betrayal,
It’s better to accept one’s failure,
It clears at least one dark spot
from your conscience,
And in doing so,
you let her go
with her reputation intact,
In any case, you are sad,
Adding culpability to it
would lessen bitterness, I think.
It’s a sea of all-consuming indulgence,
A vast, pleasure pool,
And like a little cork piece
you bob on its turbulent waves,
You get heaved, bashed, thrown in air,
You gasp for breath with excitement,
But storms can’t last forever,
They have to stop and die,
Then you float lifelessly,
You pine for that high, that kick,
You feel life has drained out,
To be kicked by the storms of love
is what you view as being alive.
